Bittersweet

I just put Rebecca down for her morning nap. As I was walking with her I was singing a lullaby and rubbing her back. She was, as usual, snuggling her head down into my shoulder under my chin. But then she did something she hasn't done in a long time- she pushed sideways and let herself slide down until she was cradled in my arms like an infant. It made my heart sing.
She is always so busy now, crawling around, bothering her brother by trying to get to his new farm set, standing and cruising..... it actually stopped me in my tracks to realize that there is still just a smigeon of baby left in her. She was so beautiful laying there next to my heart. I want to remember it in my mind's eye forever. She is my last baby and while I know that there are so many bigger and better things to come, I will miss being able to cradle her to my heart, watch her little fists as she rubbed her eyes and hear her sigh as she settles into my arms. For that second I was her world as much as she is mine. In that instant we made such a basic connection......so sweet.....so innocent. Love in its purest form.
She is my last baby. Pray God that I am around to meet my grandchildren and make that connection all over again. It just struck me in that precious moment in time what a bittersweet thing it is when you realize that your baby, your last baby, is on the verge of not being a baby anymore.